Vegas, Baby.

It may have something to do with too many tequila shots that a summer weekend in Las Vegas can be described in nothing more than a couple of two-word phrases. Two words is all you need (and probably all one can enunciate without slurring) and that’s all it takes for one party animal to totally understand another.

Let’s give it a try:  Pool party. 24 Hours. Dance floor. Party time. High heels. Dirty martini. Promotional midget. Kimchi Quesadillas. Cosmopolitan Hotel.

See? You totally understood, you party animal, you. Now that we’re sober and reading an article however, please, allow me to elaborate.

Pool Party:

The best spot to go this summer? Marquee at the Cosmopolitan Hotel. Dance in the pool, dance on the chairs, dance next to Obama! Anything can happen in Vegas!


The ambience, the night club/day club, and the dj roster are unparalled, and so is the guy who sprayed a bottle of Veuve all over my friend.

24 Hours:

Marquee, XS, Surrender, all of the best clubs allow dirty dance moves to occur until later than 5 am. When the sun comes up and your tired dogs are in need of a rest, be sure to check out The Henry at the Cosmopolitan, where the French Dip and Macaroni and Cheese balls are to die for when it comes to soaking up the chemicals you drank at the club!


Highly recommended are the kimchi quesadillas and the pork belly bun at Holsteins. If you don’t try this restaurant while you stay at the Cosmo, you’re crazy!

Va Bene:

This one is a winner when it comes to morning coffee and drive-home snacks.

And there was another amazing restaurant somewhere across the street where these crazy guys bought us a round of vodka shots at 6 in the morning, but I can’t remember what it was called!

Promotional Midgets:

So it turns out that President Obama (or at least the guy in the Obama mask) and his friends have one of the best hookups in Vegas: a deal on Promotional Midgets. Not only midgets that massage and motorboat, but midgets that take amazing photographs too.  These are the types of guys that inspired the Hang Over movie, they really do exist, and they were staying at the Cosmo. Now I know where they came up with the slogan “just the right amount of wrong.”


Whether you’re headed to Vegas to gamble, for work, or to party I would love to hear your two-word phrases, maybe you’ll get to meet a Promotional Midget too! Cheers!

July 12, 2011

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